friends in the city - dedicated to bringing people of different origins together

After having made your introductions online, take a little time to get to know people well before meeting them off-line. Never rush into anything. Always begin by communicating only by email through Friendsinthecity.net. Revealing your real e-mail address too soon will reveal your true identity. You should only do this once you have had sufficient time to form a true opinion of the person(s) you are communicating with. Tread carefully. If your instincts are telling you to back off, do it! If someone appears too good to be true, they probably are!

For your security, the friendsinthecity.net website has been built in such a way that your true identity will always be protected throughout all communications between yourself and other members. Other members do not see your true e-mail addresses or indeed any of your personal details. YOU choose when and if to reveal this information.

Help us to protect your privacy by not including your name, email address, home address, phone number or any other information in your profile or initial messages that could make it possible for anyone to identify you until you are truly ready. If someone is pressuring you for your personal information or attempts to obtain it by trying to trick you into giving them this information, back off straight away. The only way to build genuine friendships is to take your time in communicating and getting to know the other person(s).

If you are unsure of someone, ask them for a photo. Photos are usually one of the best ways that you can use to study someone and enable you to make a fair judgement on the person. If you notice that the person is reluctant to give you the photo then assume that he or she has something to hide and back off. Friendsinthecity.net offers its members three separate ways to upload photos to profiles, all of them free, so there really is no excuse for not giving one.

Use the telephone. A conversation with someone will give you a good idea of the person’s personality and social skills. Do not reveal your phone number though until you are really ready to do so. There are ways to stop your phone number appearing on telephone caller ID. Use them. Should you require more details on how to do this, you can always get in touch with your telephone service provider. You may even want to use a public call box. You should be concerned if the person does not want to speak to you on the phone after communicating with you online. In this case, extra care should be exercised.

After communicating with the person for a while within the friendsinthecity.net community, and having taken all the precautions mentioned above, the time will come when you will decide if you want to carry on with the friendship off-line, or to back off. Trust your instincts here. It should be a comfortable decision to make. If it isn’t, then perhaps you need to examine why and to leave the off-line meeting for at least a while. If it feels really wrong, then perhaps you need to back off completely.

When you do decide to meet anyone offline, tell a responsible person who you are meeting, where you will be and what time you will be back. Try and stick to this time. Do not ask your new friend(s) to pick you up at home. Provide your own means of transportation. Arrange to meet in a very public place where there will be plenty of people around. A familiar coffee shop, bar or restaurant during the busy period can be a good place to meet. Leave on your own at the end. Even if for some reason you decide to change venue, you should leave with your own transportation and on your own, not with them.

Watch out for the obnoxious characters. If the person displays feeling of anger or attempts to control you in any way or if he or she makes comments you find offensive or even behaves in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, back off. You should be very careful if you believe that your new friends are lying to you about any aspect of their lives, whether it is the age, marital status, employment, profession, interests, etc. You should be careful if the person is reluctant to answer a direct question with a direct answer. You should be concerned if there is a significant physical or physiological difference between the person you were in contact with online and in person.

If you are coming from another country or city, arrange if necessary to book your hotel room and your transportation yourself and do not allow your new friends to book it for you or to meet you at the airport or railway or coach station. Go to your hotel or whatever place of residence and call them from there, or go to meet them at a pre-arranged location. If you do not feel safe at this location go back to your hotel or place of residence and call your friends from there. Always make sure that a responsible person is aware of your movements. If possible, carry your mobile phone at all times.

If at any time there is anything you are not comfortable about, back off straight away. If your new friend scares you in any way, find the fastest way to get away from there. If necessary seek the help of someone around for help. If you think you may be in danger you can even call the police. Do not be embarrassed to do all these things, as your safety should always be paramount in your decision.

The guidelines above are not only useful within the friendsinthecity.net community. We hope you will use these guidelines equally wherever you may meet a potential friend. There will always be a small percentage of people who are less than honourable, whether it is on the Web, in a club, in your office, on the street..anywhere! However, taking some basic precautionary measures will minimise any potential risks.

Having said all the above, friendsinthecity.net offers one of the safest ways to meet new people, as you are given the chance to discover them for a little while before meeting them. You can look at their photos, joke with them, find out what you want to know about them and build up a general picture of who they are in your mind before you ever have to face them. This gives you the advantage of putting YOU in control, allowing you to make informed choices about who you allow to know anything about you. On the other hand, if you decide not to pursue a friendship with the person(s) in question, walking away from them is easy. No embarrassing excuses! What’s more, with friendsinthecity.net, you can block the user(s) from ever contacting you again. So you can go on to meet new people who you do want to be friends with!